By Vicki Molinari
The constant whining was so annoying. What a jerk, I thought. I know, not kind. Not the godly woman, kind of thought, but it is honestly how I felt.
In the stride of the day, I dislike unnecessary interruptions. Yet that day, the disappointed voice of a client unsettled me and I was fixed on solving the problem. Our staff could make this right with a quick resolve and a sincere apology. Then, I would move on to the mountain of paperwork on my desk right, not exactly.
It became a game of "he said-she said" with no resolve. Can't anyone own their behavior, I wondered? I was taught to own my actions, at all costs. Playing the blame game does not solve anything. Yet on that day, no one was interested in honesty and solutions. The drama was senseless and non-productive, and the situation got the best of me. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, the words kept ringing in my head, "It wasn't me". Sentence after sentence of unreasonable excuses was spewed forth, kind of like vomit and I was annoyed.
"Crybaby", I said under my breath!
It did not take long for the still small voice inside to remind me of the verse in the Bible I had read many times. "Love one another, even as I have loved you." John 13:34. Really God?
I cannot love him. For so many selfish reasons, I continued, He does not deserve my love. I pleaded my case but felt no relief.
Must a person be worthy for me to love him? No. God's word speaks of a different love. His love is extravagant. He loves radically. So must I.
How did Jesus love? He taught us to love those who misbehave and mistreat us. In John 15:13 He told His disciples "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends," yet He exceeded man's best by dying for His enemies. (Romans 5:8). Jesus doesn't love on the basis of our worthiness.
Jesus also practiced what He preached. If He hadn't, I would have had no chance. Without his extravagant love and forgiveness, I would be toast!
My times of acting like a crybaby are far too often I am reminded. So, I bow my head and speak to the One who loves me regardless. And once again, though undeserving He settles my heart with His unfailing love and forgiveness. Thank you, Lord, for loving me, though undeserving and unworthy.