By Audrey Botts
Have you ever prayed over a meal in a public place and felt uncomfortable because you thought people were staring at you? Have you ever felt ashamed to speak out on issues that matter to Jesus? These are questions I would have said yes to many years ago. It is not something I am proud of, but I am glad my eyes were opened to my foolishness.
In Romans 1:16 it says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentiles.”
I remember the Lord speaking to me and wanting me to go and share the gospel to a dying co-worker. I was hesitant because I feared being rejected, so I gave into my fear and wrote him a letter instead and cowardly asked him if he would accept Jesus into his heart.
He wrote back to me, “Audrey, I never knew you were a Christian.” Ouch! That comment really hurt. My co-worker innocently made a statement to me 20 years ago, that spoke volumes to me.
He never knew I was a Christian. Why? Because I never spoke of being a follower of Christ to him or anyone I knew. I didn’t even have the courage to speak to him face to face when he was dying.
My life did not reflect my love for Jesus. I lacked courage and I feared what people would say. When my coworker wrote that statement, I was convicted. How could I share salvation to a someone who never knew I was saved by the shed blood of Jesus Christ? I felt like Jesus was telling me in Matthew 7:23“I never knew you, depart from me you worker of lawlessness.” That is one statement I never want to hear when I stand before Jesus.
I was an undercover Christian, one who was ashamed of Jesus Christ. I believed in Jesus, but I had a problem letting people know about my faith. The fear of man was greater than my fear of God. I pray that I will never disappoint my father in heaven again.
Jesus reminds us in Luke 9:26 “Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”
I can tell you that I still have moments of weakness when I share the Gospel, but all I do is remember what Christ did for me on that cross and the peace he has always given me in times of trouble. How could I disappoint the One who never has disappointed me?
Dear Lord, I pray for those reading that you would give them courage and increase their faith to share your message to this dying world and I pray Lord that I will never hear anyone tell me “I never knew you were a Christian.” Amen